Have you wondered if we have ever changed from our past selves?
Like stories of my past self, I sometimes feel like I’m still the same kid I was 2 years ago when I wrote “End of Year Reflections“. While I have definitely moved away from my overly hormonal sensitive phase, some things felt like they stayed the same. Feelings like I’ve not improved, lacking in maturity, and feeling unconfident and unsure about my actions.
Though, growing up. The year had made me realise while these things may look the same, they deteriorate little by little as you build working on them.
With this passing year, I felt like I had given myself an opportunity to breathe and learn more about myself as can be seen in my sometimes cringe blog posts. My wants, needs, thoughts, and who I want to be and where do I want to see myself in life.
While the year didn’t pass by perfectly, I can say that I’ve done my best in finding myself and doing what’s best for me. And in the end, that’s all that really matters. Trying your hardest, through challenges and fear, through failures and successes. No matter what has happened, I’m proud of where I am today.
Stories of finding yourself
In the past year, I’ve written 12 (excluding this) blog posts. A pretty amazing feat I must say, considering I had only written twice in 2018, that’s a 600% increase!
Most of these 12 posts were usually about my personal feelings, doubt, thoughts, and unnecessary k-pop references. I was fortunate that my past self had turned this site into a blog rather keeping it as a portfolio. It gave me a chance to express my feelings through writing, as I always have trouble doing so through proper verbal communication.
Though, sometimes when I write these posts, I wonder if they were ever good enough? Would anyone even bother reading?
In the end realising, this is my own domain, I write and do whatever I want with it! Even if it’s talking about making k-pop references without actually referencing one!
Stories of numbers
As I have also strived to be more open about my thoughts and about my site, here’s also an overview of “popular pages” on my site.
Interestingly, “My Career as an International Student” had been my top post, despite it being just a history of my time as an international student. Honestly, felt more like a ranting post than something that will benefit anyone.
This is followed by “How to get your first internship as an international student”, which could have been a little cheating as I had also published this piece through Medium.
Continued by “3 Reasons why I choose to live frugally, which was probably one of my least favourite piece I’ve written. Not because of the content itself, but how I’ve worded the title as it sounded like a BuzzFeed clickbait.
And lastly, on the analytics first page, I’ve had the “Restarting From Zero” series. This was surprising considering these were just a blurb of my personal feelings thrown through 3 different posts. Do people like reading about personal feelings? I’m not too sure, someone should do research about it.
Stories of failed resolutions
Probably one of the worst resolutions posts I’ve seen is “Being accountable for – A New Year’s Strategy” (Probably cause it was written by my past self).
Unfortunately, I’ve had set myself up for failure by making unnecessarily unrealistic goals. Just reading it makes me feel like past me was a complete idiot.
Publishing a visual novel? I had that same goal since 2015! I could have just left it at “Dating Languages” and said job well done. Also, read 26 books (1 per fortnight)? I don’t even read more than 3 a year!
Fortunately for my future self, I’ll be setting some extremely realistic and easy goals. Setting you for success, ha! If you can’t do it, I don’t know what to say…
- Get a credit card in Australia
- Convert your Malaysian driver license to an Australia license driver
- Renew your passport and still make it back into the country
- Buy new glasses
- Fix your XPS 13’s keyboard (Call IT Help Desk or something)
- Buy fresh cutleries (Don’t share them nasties your housemates)
- Volunteer for another organisation
- Move out of your current shared house
- Write 18 blog posts
- Complete a Coursera specialisation (not that hard considering past self had already completed 80% of it)
- Read 6 books
- Reach $100k AUD net worth (also sell off your individual stocks)
- Start a new niche blog [Added 12 Jan]
- Get superior English through PTE
- Send through your EOI for an Australia PR with your undeniably low points
- Find a mentor within my company
- Buy a pool table (This seems nice)
- 10 chin-ups in a single set
Setting up Success Stories
I have no doubt that I’ll have doubts about the above goals. While seemed easy right now, future self will definitely be faced with unseen challenges like procrastination and distractions.
Though also, even if I don’t achieve all the goals I’ve set for myself above, I should know that my future self probably had done his best.
So to my 2 Chinese bot readers, just know that no matter what happens, treat yourself well. You’ve done your best and that’s all that matters. Whether it was crawling Chinese named sites for secret espionage reasons, or unnecessary trolling with Google analytics, I hope you are good to yourselves in the coming years.
And for my brother who might have self-doubt (maybe), know that you’re one of the smartest and brightest people I have met. You’ve already exceeded expectations, both mine and our parents. You’ve done well to get this far, so don’t doubt yourself, don’t compare yourself, and love yourself more. The world awaits for you now.