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Restarting From Zero: Home

Home. A place where something flourishes, is most typically found, or from which it originates.

– Some Dictionary on Google

Five years ago, I filmed and directed a YouTube video called “It Ends Where It Begins“. The story follows an amnestic young boy who just wants to find his way home. He’s faced with many challenges and obstacles, but he strives and finally returns home. Though, he is met with a man wearing an “Enjoy Cocaine” shirt, telling him that he’s been gone too long, and his home is no longer home. Lost and nowhere to go, he fades away, never to return to the place he once called home.

We were only 17 when we filmed “It Ends Where It Begins”, with only vague concepts of what’s “Home”. We never had real experience leaving home, missing home, or creating a new home. All the experience we had was when we left our Minecraft homes to find a new home with better scenery.

While my original home is Malaysia, I have always thought of Brisbane as my true home. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Malaysia, in fact, I loved it, it was only because I’ve made a new home out of Brisbane, that I consider it my real home.

Funny thing was, when I first arrived in Brisbane, I always thought about going home, back to the same old house, support, friends.

And it’s all the same feelings now, I want to go back to home, to Brisbane. Though soon this feeling will pass, and Perth will be my new home.

Restarting To Miss Home

My feelings are like Durian, looks hard and sturdy on the outside, but all soft and mushy on the inside. I felt alright for the first 2 months in Perth, as Perth felt temporary.

February became March, March became April, and I returned to Brisbane as a birthday gift to myself. A gift that cost 910 AUD, and a 4 hours delay (Thank You Virgin Airlines). Returning home was great fun, an exciting 10 days with my partner and friends.

Though that fabled 10th day came, and I had returned to Perth. With that, I realised, Perth’s my new home now. I’ve just been chopped open with a butcher’s knife, and all my mushy soft yellow feelings just all leaking out.

Restarting To Live Again

Life isn’t bad. It’s just OK.

I’m starting to live again, learning how to invest, studying Bahasa Malaysia (BM), and randomly buying cheap books off BookDepository to only read the first 3 pages.

As I wanted to be free of relocating to earn money, I’ve started to aim for financial freedom. Having enough money to do what I want, and to be free of chasing money.

With that in mind, I started investing 2 months of my blood, sweat, and tears into the stock market, hoping to make it big and not lose everything like I lost my Pokemon cards in a river. It’ll be a pretty bad ending scene if I did lose everything, hopefully, I’ll make it through the night.

As for why I’m studying Bahasa Malaysia again, it’s because I plan to take the NAATI (National Accreditation Authority for Translators and Interpreters) Test for the extra 5 PR points. Desperate choices for desperate people.

My only regret is that my younger self didn’t pay any attention during BM classes. Instead, my younger self was probably thinking about the next Anime to watch.

Restarting With One

Honestly, restarting here in Perth isn’t as bad as I initially thought. It might be a new city, but it’s the same country (I think), the same people from my internship, the same shitty internet speed.

The only difference between then and now, was that I was still a poor student with lots of time, and now I’m a decently poor grad with no time.

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  1. Ramzan Ramzan

    How much did you invest in stock market?

  2. Faith Faith

    I’m about to start my SVP with Woodside. Like you I’m an international student so kinda nervous but, any tips?

    • Hi Faith, first off, congratulations on making into the Woodside SVP! As for tips, just be yourself and don’t be afraid to ask questions! (pretty generic but they’re super true!)

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